Learning to lead people with kindness and humility
What? You have to be kind to people. I thought being a Manager meant sticking to the rules, being tough and being driven.
What? I am a Manager now, the team need to follow what I say.
What? I have targets I need to reach, reports I need to write and meetings to attend. Do I really need to stop and listen?
We know through experience that you need to do all these things, and yes you still need to take a lunch break and breathe occasionally, but you cannot work in isolation and you need your team to work with you and for you, in a way that is compassionate, humble and meaningful.
It's all about me, me, and me
Being a successful leader is when you take your team with you on your journey, and celebrate successes together. No one likes a leader who takes the credit for a team success. be proud of what your team have achieved with you. If one of your team has contributed to the success of a project, make sure you let people know and make sure the person is aware of how they have contributed. Use the time in meetings with your manager or team meetings to get it noted and post it! There is nothing more valuable that boosting morale in your team.
What the hell went wrong?
So, when the proverbial hits the fan, who is to blame? How is have a reactive meeting and pointing fingers helping in any way? Yes you may be stressed and you may have to report to your manager on what has happened BUT you are the leader, you MUST take control of the situation..your team will be stressed, knowing you are stressed. Stress is infectious and no one thinks clearly.
Learn to take responsibility, you are the boss and when your team fails or struggles, you are responsible!
Taking control means calmingly looking at what went wrong, how do we learn from this, what can we do put it right and how can we implement change. Learn together
Can we talk about me now?
How many times have you practised just listening to what someone is saying? Put down your pen, your phone and shut down that pesky laptop and listen. It is one of the most valuable tools you have in your laptop bag as a manager/leader.
Its hard when your phone is buzzing, and your mailbox is chirping, and someone is knocking at the door wanting something. Turn off your email alerts, put your phone on silent and put it in the draw or in your bag. Practice telling your team that if your door is closed you need time to focus so respecting the door closed policy. It may take some time if you have always had your door open, but be patient.
Just listening, not talking and not problem-solving. Sometimes you won't always be able to solve the problem, sometimes you may just need to listen, and that is all that is needed to help your team member get to the end and know where they are going. So often as managers we want to run fast, problem solve and get one with other stuff, learning to listen to your team members and their ideas is problem-solving just in a different way, Giving them the time to express how they feel, will leave them feeling valued, and in turn will help you be more respected as a leader.
We came across this post by Dan Rockwell who talks about how leaders need to be humble and you can read his full whole article here.
For more information on how we can help you be the leader who values their team contact us at
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